This is the first in a series of posts where I’ll share a tea time reflection and writing.
I started to share these inspiring tea tags early this year, and due to my not being sure how I would reinvent and redirect the blog as a whole, I just stopped.
I would tend to look at what gets the most response from the readers, and I usually built in that direction, but aren’t we kind of being inauthentic as writers if we only compose and publish what we think others will like??
I believe the correct answer is YES, and it’s time to get it moving forward.
I’ve also been reflecting on the fact that it is really time for the changes to happen here. I love food and I love writing the recipes, but as I’ve said before, it is stifling me creatively, and stagnant is not my thing. The food posts got me comfortable, built a great reader base and now I need to start sharing the soul food I’ve been ingesting all year long.
So, let’s talk tea tags and see where this goes, shall we??
Today’s tag is a biggie. I mean it really says a lot in a few words and on this day it is really speaking to me.
So where does one find character and commitment to gain the steadiness I think we all would like to walk in?? I know I want to be steady in my own life. It’s a burning desire and I’ve been cultivating it for a number of years now with all types of personal development work.
Joan Didion said;
“Character – the willingness to take responsibility for ones own life – is the source from which self-respect springs.”
There it is. People who incessantly blame others for their life and how it’s being lived are of the lowest character in my opinion. That’s not a judgmental statement. That’s a been there, done that statement.
We’ve all had and will most likely always have obstacles and drama to overcome. Some of us think we had it pretty bad, and some of us did, but to wallow and sit in that situation for the rest of our days blaming our parents, our environment, that boy who violated us in high school, our kids, our ex, our boss, the dick head who cut us off on the highway in the morning, that person who dislikes us for no reason and even past versions of ourselves and things we did wrong displays not only lack of character, but lack of maturity and grit. Are you a victim or a victor?? Think about it.
I fully agree with Joan. Our character definitely is built upon owning our shit and making amends along with commitment to change and becoming better humans. Period.
I actually do pretty good with this aspect of character today. I am self aware and I definitely call myself on my own bullshit. I’m good for an apology and I do my best to learn and grow from mistakes I make. No, this has not always been the case.
Commitment?? Well, that one is a little tougher I think. It has taken me years to figure out what I have to be committed to in order to be the best version of myself. And it’s also important to know that these commitments can be fluid as interests and methods change the more we evolve.
Tony Robbins says, “There’s no abiding success without commitment.”
That quote was a game changer for me this year. I gave my all, and even though I had some setbacks, 2019 was a year of major personal growth and development.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about my commitments and why they don’t allow me time for Facebook. I have been fighting with myself over social media for almost a decade, and I have finally and for real shut it down and out of my life. That means I allow Word Press to post for me and I don’t check the numbers of likes and follows, nor do I read comments or even look at the Page linked to this website. So, if you guys are following the FB Page, please respect and understand this is what I need for now.
I have been the worst at committing to things and I know it. I also know that commitment to committing is going to be a major focus over the next decade, so this morning’s tea tag was a big old slap on the cheek. I looked at all the things I’ve committed to in the past and not followed through on.
I commit to leaving FB and I fail.
I commit to not drinking and I fail.
I commit to not smoking and I fail.
I commit to leaving toxic people and I fail.
I commit to my spirituality and I fail.
I commit to my nutrition and I fail.
I commit to yoga daily and I fail.
But are any of these really failures if we try and try again?? Nope. Not even close. This is part of the process. Brush it off and get back on the horse. Or treadmill. Or yoga mat. Or nicotine patch. Whatever the hell it takes.
Does Mama Universe respond when I make commitments and fail to follow through?? I think she does. I’ve been spanked by her a few times over making promises I was not able to keep.
The trick, I believe, is learning to commit to one thing at a time, and recognizing that even if we backtrack, each day is an opportunity to try once again. Just do better than the previous day. It’s not so daunting when we view our growth in that way.
I’ve been accused of changing. Good for me. Change is inevitable.
Hello, people!! We are supposed to change, grow, EVOLVE!! And we are not to feel guilt or take on others resentments about our evolution either. If I am evolving and something or even someone in my current life is holding me back from that evolution; it or they has to go. For the greater good.
2019 set the tone for steadiness. I got to truly feel what it was like to be disciplined and committed to some things, and I got to feel the negative effects of committing and giving up, so while I haven’t been a person to make New Years Resolutions; I will be a person to make New Decade Resolutions.
If you think that I have “changed” hold on tight. There’s a lot more to come.
2020 will definitely be my decade.
These Tuesday tea talks are more for my reflection and consideration, but if you find value in the chat; please leave a comment and let me know.
See you next Tuesday, Friends. There’s a laugh in that, but for the record; calling people cunts is tacky AF.
Byyyyeeee!!! XOXO, Chelle.