Tuesday Tea Talk: How to Stay Winning In the Face of a Loss

I saved this post for my evening tea because I had much pondering to do over the topics up for discussion, and I was running all over the county today dropping off bloody mix to friends.

I’ve now had a good dinner, an evening yoga session of meditation that focused on Vishuddah (throat chakra), and I am settled back in my cozy pj’s sipping on this warm lavender, chamomile, lemongrass cocktail.

I’m ready to communicate with you tonight, Cookers!!

Let me first note that I am only showing my tea type or tag because I love them and because I am taking photography classes online and practice makes perfect.

There are no affiliate links or ads on this blog. There never will be.

Aiiight, bitches. Sip and spill time.

Last week the focus of my post was on kindness, comparison and competing. Mostly I was inspired because of the Speaker Slam qualifier, and although I didn’t move onto the next round I still would like to discuss what would’ve been the next round topic. Because I like it and I know it.


Webster’s defines resilience in two ways:

1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress.

2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.

You know my story. You’ve either read or heard about events that led me to write. Maybe you heard the gossip or you know me in the real world. At any rate, anyone who really knows me, knows that resilient should be my middle name. Maybe first!! But, you guys; we are all resilient. Look over your life and all that you have overcome. We all have a story and our stories are ever constant reminders of our own come-back game.

My definition of resilience is the ability to stretch to the breaking point and bounce back stronger and better than before.

In relation to what is currently going on in my own life, resilience means to remain a winner even in the face of a loss. It means not feeling like shit or berating myself because I did not make the cut and move to the next round. It is knowing I did my best and feeling good about the experience.

You see, in my mind, we win the moment we accept the invite, the moment we hit the “submit” button on the resume for that dream job or entry to a competition. We win when we pass through the threshold of fear, and take chances that scare the hell out of us.

Was I disappointed not to win?? Not really. I am a person with many irons in the fire at all times. To be perfectly honest, the last thing I need in life is another item on the old “to do” list. But when an opportunity such as this arrives in your life and you aren’t seeking it; I think it is very important to take the leap, because you never know what can arrive in the wake of challenges we face, or how much strength and knowledge we can acquire from taking steps toward our plans.

It is not winning that makes us winners.

This morning on the mat, I was reading the day’s passage and it confirmed exactly what I felt. Rather than me copying the words, let me just show you. Today is 139 of the year. You can never mind the highlighted words above. That is yesterday’s news.

That last two sentences hit me in the dome.

“Coming to the mat to win, I lose. What if I came to the mat to grow, to learn, and to know God?”

I did not do Speaker Slam to win. I did it to grow, gain experience, overcome fear, step out of my comfort zone. Having done those things, I feel very much like a winner today.

It was an honor to be in the presence of all that talent. It was an honor that someone felt called to ask me to participate. Those two facets alone made it amazing.

There was a lesson in humility as well.

I got to see myself in a less than confident light. I saw myself uncomfortable at something and while it would have been great to go out there and just knock ‘em dead; I’m happy to look at the video and be ok with not being the best at something and still love me. I laughed at my mistakes, cried over the story itself, and then I moved on with my life gracefully.

Not winning never makes us a loser. Not giving our all, not taking responsibility for what went wrong, blaming something or someone else for a loss; those things make us losers. And sore ones at that.

I will probably never be Inspirational Speaker of the Year, but I will always be inspirational to someone, and I will always face down any challenge that comes my way if it offers a chance to grow and be a better version of me.

Last week prepared me for something in the future, and that is what I know for sure.

I would like to take a moment and thank everyone who viewed the speech, voted for me and reached out with words of support.

It was a bad ass experience, and the situation itself taught me more about resilience and winning than taking first place ever could have.

I’m a sleepy girl. So much social stimulation today along with some retail therapy not on Amazon. I can’t do it with the boxes, man. It has been raining non-stop in our region so we can’t burn anything.

Please, Mama Universe. Please let us have sunshine soon.

Thanks for hanging with me a few minutes. I love you bitches!!

Sweetest Dreams, Friends.



One thought on “Tuesday Tea Talk: How to Stay Winning In the Face of a Loss

  1. I think I had a throat chakra early this morning, but I coughed it up and I’m fine now. I prefer the beginning part of the phrase…”for those who have come to grow, the whole world is a garden.” Yes, that suits me.


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