Reuben Slaw

Loooook, Man. You ever find yourself in a situation where you had extra corned beef and Swiss laying around, along with a head of cabbage and a bottle of Thousand Island??

Me neither. But what if??

You’d make fucking Reuben Slaw if you have any imagination whatsoever!!

I did have cabbage. I did not want to cook. BOOM. A star is born.

You already know I am not in the mood to write. Life has been mega weird, and I am uninspired food wise. We are back in grilled meats and salads mode anyway.

It’s become a kind of unintentional keto, but it feels good. And let me tell ya, life is much simpler when you grill meat and chop veggies. Or, rather, he grills meat and I chop the veggies. I like my life. A lot.

I know. I should quit saying that so much. It brings devils. Never thought I’d see the day where I would advise to keep gratitude to yourself, but here we are.

Anyhoo. This is a recipe I made awhile ago, but wasn’t sure folks would like. However, it is easy, really tasty, and I can get this blog out because I have to stay dedicated to it no matter what.

I know you Cookers want the stalker story. I want to spill the tea, but I need to keep it classy, and I am still too heated.

Cold, crunchy, yummy food is what we will talk about tonight.

Not busted, fluffy, icky stalkers. Mmmm K??

See?? I’m just not ready yet.

This recipe is keto if you do it like I did. And if you are my stalker, reading my blog like I know you are; you should try it keto, because your unfiltered pics do you no justice (it was 105.3 that gave you away) and I saw you up close, remember?? In the neighbor’s driveway and all up in your jacked up grill??

OK!! I’ll staaawwwp!! But bitches will get tired of coming at me soon. I’m over it with this little town drama and I will not allow anyone to disrupt my peace by stalking and gawking me anywhere.

NOW. Inhale weed. Exhale horse shit. Back to the recipe.

If you aren’t keto, it is even easier!! Just replace the mayo and sugar-free ketchup with Thousand Island dressing. I would guess there is a sugar-free option for bottled dressing, too. You have to read your labels.

This is a wild conbo that just works, you guys!!

Let’s get down to it. I want you to be able to enjoy this soon. Oh, yeah. And I need some good ass sleep tonight.

What You Need:

1 c sugar-free ketchup

1 head of cabbage, julienned, but thicker than cole slaw. So not shredded, but not ribboned. Make sense??

2 c mayonnaise

1/2 pound corned beef, julienned

1/2 pound Swiss cheese, julienned

1 c chopped dill pickle

2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar

1/4 c finely diced onion

You can add 2 packets of stevia or some Swerve if you want it sweeter.

You can also replace the ketchup and mayo with Thousand Island.

What You Do:

I mean, here we go with one of those recipes that it would be an insult to give directions on.

Julienne all your shit and throw it in a huge bowl.

Ok. I might advise you to mix your mayo, ketchup and pickles in a separate bowl first.

And toss the veggies, meat and cheese with the vinegar.

That’s it. Easy Peasy, right??

I want us to read the next paragraph out loud. Altogether now!!

Let. It. Set.

For the love of all things culinary and artsy, bitches; don’t even try to think this will be delicious in less than 3 hours. It needs to chill. It needs to meld.

I hope you guys like this as much as I did. I didn’t take it anywhere to share because I made it during stay at home weeks, and I ate it until it was wilted. Then I still munched on the cheese and corned beef pieces. You know I don’t waste.

I used it in a low-carb wrap as well. Delish.

Thank you for coming by!! I sort of want to apologize for venting, but that’s not my style. I mean WTF I say, so no need to be sorry.

This isn’t your average food blog, and I love you all for being here for me. I’m here for you. None of us is alone in any situation.

Love your people, people.

Cook. Yoga. Live your dreams. Don’t take no shit. Vibe high.



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