What a week, Cookers!!

Do you like my favorite cup??

Today is gonna be a different sort of blog.

As most of you know last weekend I ran across situation where I caught a stalker red-handed, out here creeping around our house!!

Now, I am not the type of woman to kick another when she’s down, hate on a chick, or set out to hurt anyone, but this situation is a bit different. The big difference being, this person’s kid games reached a dangerous level of stalking. Dangerous to the herself, not us. Coming to spy on our home is a motherfucking no no. You might catch these hands or this heat.

So, now I have to set up security cams and also vent so I can be over it, and I am done venting at my dude. This shit is not on him. I trust my guy and my gut, so that’s that. If I didn’t trust him, I wouldn’t be here, and if I thought another woman could take him I just wouldn’t be with anyone because that type of insecurity has no place in an engagement. We as a couple will only grow from this type shit. That’s how we roll.

I want my homies and everyone else reading this to understand one major point here. I am in no way, shape or form feeling threatened by this girl. Because that is what she is. A broken little girl stuck in a stupid ass grown woman’s body.

The problem with me is that Cancer/Leo cusp birthdate of mine. Conflict causing MF that it is.

The sensitive, nurturing Cancer feels sorry for her. The mother of the zodiac almost wants to hug her and help her. That side of me feels her pain. She’s pretty pathetic in so many ways, to be honest.

But, nah. Fuck that. I stopped letting the Cancer side dominate my life when I turned forty. I have a kind heart, but I do not tolerate any form of disrespect, soooo…

The fiery, take no shit Leo wants to hang her out to dry. Pics. And. All. I could have beat the living shit out of her on Saturday, but see, I really have grown. I’m not fighting someone who is weak, scared shitless and not trying to box me back. That is bully shit and not at all my style, but I still think she deserved to lose a couple teeth.

It appears her karma is coming in that area, too. That grill is rusty AF.

So what’s a woman to do when she spends her days practicing peace and mindfulness, but people want to harsh her mellow for no damn reason?? Or because they used to bang her dude back in the day and think they’re still significant or they wish to be??

You cry a little, and get pissed off because you haven’t done shit to these females to justify the hate and you’re not in a position to open a case of whoop ass these days. Jail sucks.

Yeah, it bothered me this much for about 10 minutes. Ugly cry. Screaming at my man over shit he doesn’t really have anything to do with.

I’m not going to disregard the situation any longer. I have ignored the bullshit to some degree for years now because I am a grown woman. Yes. Years. 3 to be exact by the time I figured out what was going on because her “friend” came into my bar, got loose lips and sunk the stalking ship.

I proudly stand by the beautiful quote that says, “a queen doesn’t step off her throne to address peasants.”

Usually. I usually stand by that quote. Saturday I not only stepped off the throne, I threw off my crown and went for her. The hands stayed restrained, though and I’m so proud of myself.

Everyone has a breaking point. She reached mine.

You know, it is proven to be human nature to look at the FB account of someone you were with or their new partner, I guess. But someone you were with like 25 years ago?? That is psycho shit. And none of that is my nature until there is a reason.

See, I am a real one, and I will tell it ALL. After hearing so much shit talk, I reverse stalked this bitch. You have done or would do it, too. Don’t be judging me just because you are full of shit and won’t admit it.

I found out a lot in a real short time. And it helped me catch her ass when I hadn’t thought about her in forever!!

Here’s WTF I know from very little time on her account.

• She is desperately seeking validation. I feel ya, bitch. Been there before.
• She used to be friends with my roommate in the 90s and thinks I should know her. I didn’t recognize her until I saw her fake ass pics that are filtered to make her look 20.
• She is what appears to be a hopeless drunk. Admits Captain Morgan is her favorite fella. Drink some water, ya thirsty hoe.
• She is a narcissist who clearly thinks everyone who banged her still wants her, but she can’t keep a relationship. Probably because her priority is being a bar star. I get that, too. I had my time. In my fucking twenties!! We are 40+. Grow up.
• She lives in the past and looks for sympathy constantly, using her exes and anyone’s tragedy to get attention.
• She started working at our favorite bar and burger joint, where we used to tag ourselves a lot, two years into our relationship. Coincidence?? Ok. I’ll buy that. Maybe.
• She must use 3 filters on her pics because she looks like Barbie on FB and “Carbie” in real time. See for yourself. I’m not putting her pics up, but yeah, I have them.
• She cannot smile in said pics because she has a grill that would make anyone in Tiger King envious.
• She is a fucking distant cousin of mine, on my mother’s side of all the shit. That explains a lot about her psyche.
• I can’t stand her because she reminds me of the women I once hated. My mother until she killed herself. And me until the age of 40 when I decided I would never be like my mother. Except all that psycho stalker shit. That ain’t nothing like me. I’m far too in my own business to be snooping on others. That I can promise you.
• She has horrid taste in music. My guy would never stand for that shit in the car. So I knew then ya’ll were nothing but a fling thing.
• She is BFFs with another dumb bitch who is holding a grudge because her man wanted a pic with me dressed as Cat Woman at a Halloween party in 2013. It was innocent as fuck. Maybe stalker was at the party and this started way back then. Later, I will show you proof of that possibility. Yes, Jen. I see you, too. Get over it, bitch, or “be like Ike,” and all that shit you were talking at the bar when I was working.

If you follow me, you’ve heard this mentioned once before. I was Tina Turner in a vocal contest and this broad wanted to be funny and say that kind of shit later on. Be. Like. Ike. Bitch. But know the whole story and be ready when I turn like Tina and beat your ass with my heel.

All that said, I have read several articles about stalkers in Psychology Today, and many different blogs have touched on the subject as well. I’m not here to diagnose, but it looks like the chick has problems that run in the family. Just saying.

And now I am going to put her in her place one final time. Unless I ever see her again and she dares step to me. Judging by her piss-the-pants reaction on Saturday when I confronted her face to face, that won’t happen. She has thug fingers on FB, but 911 fingers in real life. Or so it seems. She was frozen, stuttering and knew she was on blast.

Maybe this will be the straw that breaks the stalker’s back, and she will get help for herself.

See, here is my problem. I can block a FB stalker, or make her miserable by being my fun and happy self while she drowns herself in booze and old tired feelings. It is a choice.

But when I see you around my house it becomes a new deal. I told the entire world that I am not “Mizz Nicey Nice” and I meant that shit!!

And that is exactly what happened Saturday afternoon as I was arriving home from a work meeting. No. She was not at my house.

You have to get the back story. And it is long. I’ll do my best to keep it not too long and not too hurtful, but here is what, Cookers; I am done with this bitch trash talking me and hawk-eyeing me when I am out. When I caught her and boldly confronted her near my home, the gloves came off.

Yes. There was a confrontation. I know you want to read about it and I will get there. I have to go back in time first though…

Our first encounter with this girl was in 2015. She waited on us at our former fave burger spot. We did not recognize her at all because she hasn’t aged all that well. It occurred to us later who she was and we had some laughs over his fling with her, honestly.

Second time I ran into her without him. Same spot because I was at the market across the street with my step-mom when I got a call that a friend and former coworker had hung himself. I was upset and went to have a drink, but this chick kept creeping around the bar where I was sitting and she was staring. Like uncomfortable staring. We left because it was odd. Now I know she was probably evaluating me and wondering if me and my guy were in a fight or some turmoil. That’s what I suspect because she is that type. She’d enjoy that. You know the type. Haters.

Did her stalking start then?? Or before?? Who knows, but she got told on.

See, this town isn’t real big and we do have mutual acquaintances.

Apparently when we left the first time or I left the second time, she mentioned to her coworker that she knew me, and that she had a “thing” with my guy in the past. Classy, right?? But she likes to look like a trashy slut because she thinks guys banging her means she is valued.

Well, her friend, as I mentioned before, talks too much. She sat at my bar with a couple drinks and this was mentioned. Why?? I don’t know. People get bored and want to stir pots, I guess. Or maybe she was the new bitch at work at the time and they weren’t friends yet, yeah?? Probably that. Either way, it was a stupid move and very childish. And I fell right on into it. This was pre any serious yoga practice. I think it is important to note that.

It is also important to note that a separate mutual acquaintance who also needs to get a life, sent me this screen shot one day not too long ago. Because she knows about this and monitors her I guess. I really can’t wrap my head around that motivation. Quarantine is boring?? I’ll chalk it up to that and not put her name out there.

Please note the dates. Yeah. Mine was in 2013. Hers 2020. Coincidence again?? I mean are we twins or what?? This was what made me delete everyone. It was too weird seeing it. Also, no one should have sent it. Ever!! But that’s the kind of place I live. And it is the world of FAKEBOOK.

It was when her friend visited my bar rail in 2017 that I found out her name and I looked her up to see who the fuck she thought she was. Prior to that….NEVER. I didn’t remember her. As soon as I seen her profile I knew who she was. Or used to be. She was a friend of a friend. And yes, I knew about the fling with Johnny by now, but hadn’t made the connection that I also knew her ass.

I was amused.

First by the cartoon like pics of herself she posted more than anyone I ever knew in life. I mean like a profile change every day!! Filtered as fuuuck!! Ok. I’m not judging. It just shows a bigger sense of insecurity than even I once had myself. Winning.

Second, I was amused by the fact that she never smiled. Ever. Either unhappy or real bad teeth. Again. Not judging. Been there, too. But I fixed my happiness and therefore I smile huge and often. And I don’t have perfect teeth, but I’ve been fixing that, too. Not fucking it up with more alcoholic unhappy juice. Winning again.

It wasn’t much of a reverse stalk. I am observant and intuitive. I looked for about an hour, then I laughed the shit off and got on with my life.

Then I seen the bitch again. About a year ago, in fact. Did not even know she was sitting down the rail from me and my coworker at a restaurant near our place. I felt it, and caught her craning her neck to stare. Again.

I don’t think she was stalking because she was there first. But she was gawking. For realz. And I knew who she was this time. I wasn’t exactly quiet telling my coworker the deal either.

Have we met?? You know I am a beast. She and her boss/boyfriend left pretty soon after I let her know I knew.

It was a few days after that I looked at her social again. I know it was dumb, but I did. She had a post up about people “being out cheating while you are at home asleep,” and yes, I think she was referring to me. I do!! My gut says so, man, and also she’s a hater who’s out with her married or recently divorced boss. Come on!! Project your psycho shit onto others much??

I found that amusing as well.

Another two reasons.

1. If the post were about me, it is hilarious, as my coworker is a very gay man.
2. She is so pathetic that even if the post was not about me, she showed me again she is a dumb bitch who spends her time meddling in other’s lives.

More fucking winning.

We are almost there, Cookers. The finale is coming.

Last year on my birthday, we went to my job for dinner. July 22. We checked in at Knight’s.

August 10 this bitch does the same. I only know because I look at my work FB to check reviews. Let’s keep it real. She seen me at “The Bone” in June in my uniform with the big ass white Knight horse on it. Sees mine or his check-in in July. Shows up a couple weeks later in August.

Ooookaayyyy, Homies!! Maybe it is all a big bunch of coincidence. Which, by the way, I don’t believe in, so there’s that. But I was convinced enough that I told a few people that knew people, hoping she would get wind of it and stop her dumb shit.

She did not. Now you can say what just happened on Saturday was a coincidence, too. Go ahead and believe that she was lost on our road, in front of my house, and suddenly decided to “Y” turn (because the bitch can’t drive) and head the other way. In the very moment when my Jeep came over the hill heading home from a staff meeting?? Come TF on??

If you think it is coincidence I am cyber slapping you, and I want you to please exit my life.

Hear me out. I never would have even looked at her fucking car coming at me down the road!! Do you think I look at every gray Dodge I see to see if it’s her?? That is amusing, too.

Well, how do you know what she drives, Chelle??

That is probably what you are asking.

Well, it’s only because it is on top of her profile. It would be a cool ride, too if a bad bitch drove it.

This one couldn’t scoot away from a Jeep in it, soooo. Still fucking winning.

So this car turns tail and heads the other way fast. Then I recognized it.

My gut said, “This bitch.”

I chased her. I blocked her into the neighbor’s driveway down the road. I got out of my car and I asked her if she was lost and who TF she was looking for. Stuttering. That’s all the response I got. No address, no name of a neighbor. Then she pretended she didn’t know us and was oblivious to what I was saying when I let her know I knew exactly WTF she was doing out there creeping.

Then I showed her my engagement ring and asked her if she wanted to see it up close. “Because the next time I see you out here, bitch, you will not only see but feel my ring. In your fucking eye.” Exact words. I know, I know.

She understood me. She was scared and high tailed up my neighbors driveway to turn around. I stayed, took some pics of her and chased her ass out of there.

That is it. End of story. Almost.

I gave my dude a lot of shit over this, and I want to close this blog and situation with an apology to him. I never mistrusted Johnny. My gut has told me he is solid from day one. My big thing with him was, I wanted to move. He won’t give in to that because it is a childish and selfish request. He has obligations here that I committed to seeing through beside him when I agreed to be his wife. We aren’t going anywhere, and while this messy bitch may have caused the slightest bit of turmoil in our house, that isn’t shit compared to what we have already overcome throughout this union.

See, people like her thrive on this type of shit because they can’t be in a happy, stable and long relationship. I found this shit on her timeline the next morning.

That post screams stupid ass, hating on love, hoe. It is pathetic at best.

Don’t think I was stalking. I unblocked the bitch and went for her throat, calling her out on her own posts. Letting her friends know what she is, and that I have had enough.

She also sent me a message telling me she was looking for her friends house at 8600, but she couldn’t spit that out at the time?? Nah. You went and Zillowed some shit and tried to play me. You’re not real slick, Baby Girl. Hang up your stalker hat and move the fuck on with your balding boss with the dad bod. You’re a drunken mess and apparently a gold-digging home wrecker as well. Gross.

I have deleted all my FB friends because of this silly shit. I stopped thinking about her and her stupid, stalking side-kick long ago up until now. Once this blog is posted and the world knows the truth; I will feel much better. Maybe I will go on back to my FB, maybe not. That’s a never ending yo-yo I ride upon.

The night it happened I put her on blast. I only have 2 FB friends, but I set that shit to public. Trust this about me. I am not afraid to call you out.

I learned the best way to catch a stalker is to ignore them and become inaccessible. Real crazies will not stop obsessing. They will stalk until they get busted. Then you can relax and know that while you are an artist who imagines big and creates heavy; you are not psycho.

The soft side of me pities her. I hope she gets some help. Puts down that bottle and picks up a self help book. Maybe I will send you a copy of mine. Thanks for further motivating me to finish it.

I am DONE, Cookers!! Thank you as always for being the place I go when I feel like no one gets me.

I should rename the blog Dishes of Drama or something like that.

I love you to bits. And I even offer love to you dumb asses. Get it together already. The only thing you will ever take from me is a lesson and some inspiration. Clearly.

To you, my dear loves; I adore you. Stay stable. Mind your business. Don’t fall into small town drama when you have big dreams to work on.

XOXOXO, Chelle

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