Hey!! What’s happening, hot stuffs??
I have about 10,000 things to tell you!!
I’m not doing it. I don’t have much time, so I’m going to do my best not to ramble today. No promises, though. I am who I am.
I’m like 360 days from adding “wife” to the list of hats I wear, and while I’m not hyper-focused on the “wedding” part of it (because IDGAF about impressing people), I am stoked about the whole marriage gig. SO!! I am slowing my roll.
Putting on the brakes again??
Yup. Seriously, y’all!! I really want to be most present as a partner and the best wife I can be. That’s my current priority in life. I’m keeping all this health (mental, emotional, physical) in check. That means good food, daily practices, low stress, high vibes.
I’ve broken the family curse of “serial spouse” by not getting married multiple times, and I’m damn proud of that. I actually never thought I’d do it, the whole wife thing. Back when my dad told me I wasn’t the type of female men married, I took it as an insult and I built a wall of limiting beliefs from his bogus and unwarranted assumption. He never meant to hurt me. He meant that I’d never meet a dude strong enough to handle my wild ass. I can’t blame him for thinking that. I am a bit of a handful to say the least. Even in this current semi-stable state.
Dad, you were wrong and you’d love him.
We already have a great marriage.
That is all.
At any rate, I’m tying the knot, and while I have a healthy obsession with being a good partner, I’m also faced with all the scary questions I assume occur for many, prior to the nuptials actually being exchanged.
- Am I even wife material?
- Do we really like each other that much?
- Does marriage ruin the friendship?
- Will we still bang like screen doors in a hurricane, or is that all done?
- Does he even like this person I’ve become?
To clarify; I’m pretty sure he still likes me, but I am far from the same woman he met almost 29 years ago, and I am certainly not the hot mess he hooked up with in March of 2013. I am alcohol, drug, cigarette and mostly animal-product free. I spend my time planning yoga classes, walking dogs or educating myself to help others. I’ve also become overly and naggingly obsessed with home improvement. Oh, and I’ve barely fucking cooked the last 2 years!!
Everyone is like, “Who are you and what have you done with Michelle??”
The yoga took over, you guys, and with yoga came simplicity and a contentment that I never would have believed in if I had not been the first-hand witness and recipient of an evolution like this. I had to completely unravel and undo everything in order to “fix” myself. And I have. I walk my talk, and I practice what I teach.
I’ve evolved and changed, but I’m still me. The fooding was always there. The yoga was always there. The desire to write, talk, share. All that shit. Always there. I just had so many layers to remove and so many programs to discard in order to get to the core of who I really am. Now I can release her, and when I say release her I mean I let go of all those old versions and also of any future ideas I have about myself and who I have to be. Release her means I get up each day and unleash her in all her authentic goddess essence and glory. Good and bad.
Some days “she” is an angel who radiates love and light.
Some days “she” is a total demon or the old “Chelle-ion” who is moody and will turn on you like a viper.
I love her on both days and I am finding ways to balance the hot-head energy. Beautiful smoothies and breakfast bowls like this one right here can be incredibly beneficial to cooling a pitta dosha. We talked about doshas and Ayurvedic practices in prior posts. I share these things because I want you to find your balance, too. Balance is the first step to bliss, in my very humble opinion, and bliss is my wish for the collective.
Other than all that, staying away from assholes and minding my own business seems to keep my blood at an even temperature.
And the yoga.
Lots of the yoga.
Simplicity and contentment doesn’t mean plain and boring. I’ll never be either of those, but part of recovery for me was an illusion of needing to keep myself from boredom because I viewed it as the first brick in the road to relapse. I think that’s why I spent so much time jumping from one hobby or goal to the next. I’d move onto something new the moment I conquer the first stage of anything. If we do that, we are always in a cycle of seeking, grasping, or expecting some feeling or result; and then when it comes, or if it doesn’t right away, we are O-U-T.
It was exhausting, so I finally just took a chill pill (literally) for a bit, and I learned to be still for a change. To find some comfort in the silence and to be at ease without chaos. Prior to recovery we never have that, right?? It can be hard to settle into.
Finding balance in our eating was a matter of it being simple but exciting at the same time, and that’s exactly how I’ll model the marriage.
For our food, I want easy to access ingredients and execution, combined with exotic flavors and a kick ass aesthetic.
For our union I will have an uncomplicated partnership with clear communication and commitment to keeping it fun, even when it isn’t perfect. Period.
This bowl is a metaphor for all of it.
Want the recipe??
You got it.
Listen, I hope you’re all doing well in life and in recovery from anything that might be challenging you. These are odd times. We got this. We are not alone. Thank you for being here, for being part of this community and these sometimes silly as fuck conversations. I do got that good food though…
This recipe takes about 5 minutes from start to finish. Remember that healing starts from the inside and as individuals. If we’re going to serve the collective, we have to serve ourselves first and with the utmost compassion. What we eat is a great indication of our self-respect. Love you much.
What You Need:
1 c frozen banana slices
1 c frozen raspberries
1/2 c frozen strawberries
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
Cashew milk to your desired thickness. 1 to 1.5 cups should do it.
1 tsp True Goodness™️ cocoa powder
Chocolate granola from Bear Naked™️
Sugar-free chocolate chips
What You Do:
Place all the frozen fruit into a blender along with the milk, protein powder and cocoa powder.
Blend until thick and smooth.
Use a rubber spatula to spoon into a bowl.
Garnish with remaining ingredients.
Grab a spoon and dig in!!
I’m on break from podcasting and I’m not sure about going back in 2022. It seems everyone is just out to sell something or push their own agenda onto others and that’s not what I started this for. We shall see. For now I will continue being committed to contentment and peace. I really like it here.
I’ll see you the next time I have something of value to share. Until then, please take care and stay smiling!!
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