Ok, I know you’re all like, “Maraschino cherries, for real, Homegirl??”
I know!! I get it!! I have blasted these things from a mixology standpoint for decades.
Before we get into the recipe, I feel just slightly compelled to defend myself for creating something that literally revolves around maraschino cherries, a true foodie faux pas if I have ever known one.
I abhor these overly sweet, well preserved, red-dyed, little grotesquities (my word), but they need love, too. This particular recipe was inspired as I was cleaning out a bunch of our old mini-bar fixings from the refrigerator to make way for a new one. Blue cheese stuffed olives didn’t get a recipe. They got gifted. The cherries, well, I mean…
Who doesn’t like the chocolate covered ones, though? (shoulder shrug)
By the way, we’re clearing out cocktail fixings because we are eight months ALCOHOL FREE and aiming to stay on this path. Thanks to all who have supported us and this choice.
Also, let me address a question that came up recently; I’m not vegan, vegetarian or committed to any certain diet plan. I don’t eat meat for the most part, but it’s an energy thing, not an ethics thing or a set-in-stone thing. Just wanted to clear that up. I tag my #vegan meals, but I am by no means vegan. In all honesty, I find the vegan community to be a bit (quite a bit) judgey and pushy. Yes, I think we eat too many animals, but being a dick about our chosen causes rarely gets any real work done. Ask me how I know.
Now, back to this recipe…
I had been half-assed seeking a replacement for the boozy cherry cordials I used to give out for Christmas, and I’ll just tell you; it won’t be these. These are a huge pain in the ass, however, if you have extra cake or brownie mix laying around, let them happen. They’re named “bombs” for a reason.
The chocolate cake version of these is already out there, so naturally I had to up-level my recipe to bring something different to the table. I used cherry-chip cake and fudge brownies rather than chocolate cake. Credit to Hungry Happenings blog for the original recipe. They seem to have been the pioneers of this unique and fun confection.
A couple of notes and suggestions about this before we get to the deets…
- Make your cake and/or brownie mix of bakery quality by replacing the water with milk, the oil with melted butter and use an extra egg.
- You can go light on the amount of cake you try to wrap around that cherry. I did too much on the first few, and the cake slid right off into the melted chocolate. Keep it light. Maybe a cookie scoop worth. They still come out pretty hefty.
- Don’t use the stem as a handle to dip. They break off and the end result is not as cool, aesthetically.
- Don’t chill your balls!! Seriously, it will cause the chocolate to crack when you dip them, and also they will make your chocolate sweat as they come to room temp. It’s just super counterproductive.
I’ll write the recipe close to how I made them, with the exception of the dipping process.
You can check out this video of The Runaways song Cherry Bomb if you want to really get in the groove while dipping these. Full disclosure; I totally played it. A couple of times!!
Alright, Cookers, let’s get down to business because this is quite the project.
What You Need:
1 13” x 9” prepared pan of cake or brownies
1/2 or full can cherry frosting (you decide how much)
1 jar maraschino cherries
2 bags dark chocolate chips
4 TBSP coconut oil
What You Do:
In a large mixing bowl, or the bowl of your stand mixer, crumble and crumb the cake or brownies.
To this, add the cherry frosting, and then mix by hand or use the stand mixer paddle. I just glove up and handle it, myself.
Once all the cake crumbs are moist and pliable, set them aside and drain the cherries.
Pour them into a plate lined with paper towels to soak up excess juice.
Using a cookie scoop, start to make uniform balls of cake and set out on parchment lined cookie sheets.
Take each cake ball, and stuff the cherry into the center, wrapping the cake around the stem. Just use your hands to manipulate it until the cherry is covered.
Repeat on each ball until all are finished.
Let the cake balls set while you melt chocolate.
I use a double boiler method to melt my chips because I don’t own a microwave anymore, but it’s up to you how to go about it.
Use 2 Tbsp of coconut oil with one bag of chips. Place both in a bowl and stir occasionally while melting, regardless of the chosen method.
Once chocolate is melted, transfer to a dipping bowl.
Quickly drop the cake ball into chocolate, coat it by rolling it or spooning chocolate over the top, then use a fork to lift it out. A plastic fork with the middle times removed is incredibly useful here.
Place the bombs back on parchment lined sheet pan.
When all the bombs are coated, if you have extra chocolate, go ahead and pour it over them for extra coverage.
Refrigerate until chocolate sets up.
You’ll have a tough time staying out of these. I suggest giving them away ASAP!!
I hope you’ll enjoy this recipe as much as we did, and I wish you all a blessed and joyous holiday season, however you choose, and whatever you choose to celebrate, or not celebrate.
Life is weird right now so until I see you again; eat good food, keep good company, raise your frequency, smile big and love lots.
Oh, and eat the fucking cake!!
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